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Here I am, day 3 into my 30 day Ignite Your Money flow challenge and today the cracks have started to appear.

A necessary part of any soul process that creates real and long lasting change is when truth rises to the surface, coming forth into your awareness hitting you square in the face. It hurts and it’s emotional even if you know it is for the best and you need to go through it to get where you really want to be.

Most days I go about life in a positive mindset, grateful and focused on my vision and the dreams I working at creating.

Yet today is revealing this is where I am catching myself up and getting in my own way.

The day began with a couple of ‘I’m not good enough’ triggers, which then had me being honest with myself yet again about the lack of financial flow in my life and my business. My journal writing and whinge at the Universe went something like this:

It’s not Ok that I sit here after all these years still scratching for money and clients.  The thing that literally make me cry about this, is how much I love my work, connecting with people, my love of working with Spirit and how I don’t actually get nearly enough opportunity to do what I love.

It’s not Ok that I am still yet to stand out from the crowd and have people realize the difference I can truly make for them even though I don’t appear on Psychic TV or have a TV profile. Working with me does create profound differences though I guess I am failing to get that message across in my marketing.

It’s not Ok that my life feels like prison with not having the freedom to do all that I want to do – having worked so damn hard for so long to change and do what’s needed.

It’s not Ok that the Universe wants to increase my financial flow by increasing my temp work instead of increasing my client base. I’m tired of that shit!

It’s not Ok that I’m tired, exhausted and really do not have the desire to market myself anymore – its been killed off.

And it’s not Ok that I have 2 fantastic books that change lives which are not reaching the thousands of people they deserve to.

And it’s not Ok that I give more to my biz and others than I receive in return.

When I asked the Angels what they had to offer on the subject, I heard “We love you”. Putting it mildly, that is sweet but sooooo not helpful. Elaborating they tell me “They trust I will come to the realization I need.”

Nothing like doing it on your own!!!  Remember I’m having one of THOSE days.

Moving on I take a breath, grab another cuppa and ask “What do I need to see, understand and know to change all of this?

Apparently I’m still trying to hard.

My Higher Self responds: Stop trying. Just Be in the Now.

This is something Spirit has been nagging at me about for weeks and I have asked for help with. I’m guessing this is it.

My Higher Self goes on: Just be in your truth everyday. Your truth lies in the love you have for yourself and others. All this other stuff is an illusion.

Me: How so, when the reality is there is not enough money?

HS: Serving yourself before others will rectify this. Through humbleness of course. Serve your need to create, teach, write and share your wisdom. That is all you need do. Let go of the marketing, people will come because of your truth.

Me: I’ve been here before and haven’t had the sustenance to keep it going.

HS: Marketing – Do It for You!

I have had similar conversations with Spirit before which obviously means I’m still yet to take to heart what is really meant by all of this. I do know logically what is needed – I am just struggling with how to ‘BE’ and how to create a business that serves my needs first.

I’ve got little inklings such as this 30day Ignite Your Money flow challenge. I started it to attend to my own needs and offered it to others because I know my work benefit others and Surprise! Surprise! Over 50 people joined the FB group to take up the challenge with me.  Of course you are more than welcome also and here is the link for you.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/LifeLoveinSpirationKerrieWearing/

I do get what Spirit wants for me with this and where I need to come from – I guess its just going to take some adjusting moving forward.  With step 1 being writing and sharing this blog.  This is me, being in my Truth everyday and serving you by serving myself first.

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Kerrie Wearing is a soul coach, a medium and author of A New Kind of Normal: Unlock the Medium Within and Wisdom of the Soul: How to Live Life Created with Love & inSpiration Made Simple. Kerrie is passionate about helping people to live their Soul Purpose knowing they are One with Spirit and coaching Mediumship practitioners to achieve high levels of integrity, professionalism and accuracy of Mediumship through strong foundations with Spirit.

She is soon to be launching her new online Mediumship Academy and is excited to be working on her third book Wisdom of the Soul: Manifest Your Dreams with Love & inspiration made simple.