2017 was the year that saw me take a big leap of faith and venture forth into the world of online dating, something that didn’t exist last time I was single.
I have decided to write and share some of my experience and my thoughts on how you can go about creating a positive and pleasurable experience. I know quite a few of my followers will be or are looking to date or find that special someone and one of the first things I recognized is the fact that is how dating is done now. If you are of my vintage, 40+ you will find most of your social circle are happily ensconced in coupledom and with most of my friends being female and married it limits who is available to go out with. In addition the nightclub scene is not what it used to be either, so I found it was a matter of adjusting to this aspect of society as it is now.
This journey began for me back in April when one Sunday I just woke up and intuitively knew it was what I needed to do. Consciously it wasn’t something I wanted to do or was comfortable with though until I took that step I was unable to write or do any other intuitive work. This ultimately meant that the Soul had spoken and I really had very little choice in the matter.
I asked about it to my friends on Facebook and was surprised to find that quite a few long-term couples had all met this way. Knowing this supported me in taking the next step to begin researching sites. At this point I wasn’t ready to spend money so I opted to join www.oasis.com which is free to use including messaging.
When you first join the online dating world here are a few things to be mindful of:
- Your intention and law of attraction point is everything and you put this out in the world by way of your profile. I found the more detail I could put the better and I was very specific about my spirituality, my work and who I was. Secondly, get clear on what you are looking for and don’t be shy to detail that on your profile as well. If you want authenticity and honesty in this process then it is imperative that you are putting that out there and allowing it to be your attraction point. This was the key to which enable me to see through the undesirables and ensured that I attracted relationships with men that were honest in their intentions and prepared to be as open as I was being.
- Your safety is important for you to think about which means don’t give out your personal details such as your phone number until you are comfortable and if someone doesn’t understand that or they stop chatting to you because of it, know they are not worth your time.
- How your dating prospects approach you actually speaks volumes as to their intentions. Have they actually viewed your profile? This is a key factor for me as I want them to have some sort of idea of me for example, there is no point in me dating a skeptic and not viewing the profile usually indicates they don’t care enough and are more than likely only after one thing.
- Look out for the sweet talk that starts with “Hello gorgeous….” Or “Yo!” It’s a process that will certainly open your eyes and unless you also want just one thing I wouldn’t recommend engaging here.
- Trust in your intuition. The first gorgeous man I met, I like his profile because I thought he had kind eyes. This turned out to be true as he has a very big soft spot for animals. This man was certainly my Oasis after a very long time spent in the desert. He connected me to parts of myself I never knew existed, and which are still evolving as we speak. He opened the door to my sexuality, making me feel desired and like a woman. Things I had not felt in quite a substantial amount of time. He brought fun and a little adventure and I am blessed now to be able to still call him a friend.
Months later it was time again to meet someone knew and this time I opted to try Plenty of Fish at www.pof.com. I do find the whole initial process very uncomfortable as you are selecting people based on photos and what they say on their profile. Incidentally, if you want a communicator then look for a good amount of information on the profile.
I do find myself quite gun shy out of fear when it comes to initiating contact, and this time I was just about to give up on POF after a couple of unsuccessful connections when Superman (his t-shirt in his profile pic) reached out. His messaged asked about my work indicating to me he had looked at my profile at least and thought about who I was and what I was saying.
We chatted for a couple of days before we met up being that we are practically neighbours. One thing I would suggest is to not waste time. Don’t waste their time spending weeks just chatting online. Take the plunge and meet if you feel ok about it and if you don’t let them move on. Secondly when you do meet, don’t be afraid to rip the band-aid off and discuss the things that are important to you when it comes to a relationship and what you are looking for. Discuss your likes, dislikes, deal breakers and really try to explore your compatibility in this meeting. Once again this is where your honesty and authenticity with no holding back can really make all the difference.
This meeting with Superman was the start of a passionate, intense yet tumultuous love affair that saw me falling in love. It was an emotional rollercoaster but at the same time beautiful and glorious in a lot of ways where even now we are finding new ground as friends. Needing one another yet acknowledging that some of the differences just are too vast for it to work right now.
He helped me to see how the new me needs to love, to expand even further my need for adventure and when you find someone who gets you and accepts without judgment the emotional biscuit I can be, and accepts that I have voices in my head and allows me to share those deeper very personal hidden parts of me, not only is it rare its hard to let go of.
I recently turned once again to online dating; needing some help to move on a little from Superman and this time I have opted to use www.Zoosk.com. While I tried POF again this time it just made me feel sick and I took that as my having the awareness of the fact that it really does live up to its nickname.
I do recommend using a site where you need to pay to use as this means everyone is a little more serious and invested in the journey of finding love. Saying that though you will find everyone comes to this with baggage and some of that can be fairly heavy going.
It is best to try and approach the whole experience without any expectation, which I know I pretty well suck at doing even if I try. Trust in knowing though that this is what you may need to do on your road to meeting your new life partner. It may not be where you actually meet them but it will give you the soul learning and lead to shifting your vibration so that every step you take leads you that much closer to meeting your hearts desire.
Lastly, have fun, go with the flow and trust your body to tell you what is right and what isn’t by how it feels. And if that means getting intimate on the first date and having to step outside of some of societies preconditioning, then go for it. I can tell you the only judgment with that is going to come from within you so let go and enjoy the JOYgasm that is to be had.
with love & gratitude,
Kerrie Wearing is an Intuitive Soul coach, a psychic medium and Soul Whisperer with a passion to help spiritually motivated people manifest their dreams. Her work is designed to support people all over the world to engage the Magic of their Soul and manifest their dreams with JOY.
Over the last 20years Kerrie has worked tirelessly in the spiritual fields seeing clients, conducting workshop and events, owning and operating The Australian College of Mediumship and inSpirit Magazine and is now honoured with clients from all over the world. Kerrie has published two books, A New Kind of Normal: Unlock the Medium Within and Wisdom of the Soul: How to live life created with love & inspiration and she is currently writing her third book. Kerrie lives in Sydney, Australia with her family and is a not so secret country music fan.